Day 4

Day 4

Love is thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.---Psalm 139:17-18

Today's Dare: Contact your spouse during working hours just to see how he is doing and ask if there is anything that you can do for hi.

Simple! I do this all the time. We contact each other several times a day asking how the other one is, what we want for dinner, how the kids are, if there is anything the other one wants and little reminders.

Kal has a great job and I feel so blessed that it is a job where I can call him or email him. I can even IM him if I want (which we do sometimes). We feel blessed in general that he has a job. We have seen people lose their jobs left and right and we know that is not something that is going to happen with Kal. He works for the state. I think with the lines of communication open which he is at work makes it much simpler to be thoughtful.

If you do not learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtfulness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

Wow. I would have never thought about it that way before. Now that I have read that I completely agree. I think that is why people give the silent treatment when they are upset. You know that it irritates the other and it is not thoughtful. I, on the other hand, would rather just say what is bothering me when it is bothering me. I think if I were to hold it all in I would just explode. Also, I believe when you do that you work up what is bothering you into something that is much bigger.

So not much for today I guess. I didn't actually call Kal while at work today. He came home early so it was still during the working day. I asked how he was. He was tired. Then I was doing laundry and asked what I could do to help him get ready for his trip this weekend. He needed laundry done so I started the wash for him so that he could gather up his belongings and wash them.

Kal is leaving to go camping and white water rafting. Although this is not really what I want him to be doing 9 months out of surgery (and he knows how I feel) I hope that they have a great time and that everything goes well. We will miss him this weekend.

Is anyone reading....I like comments!! =)

Day 3

Day 3

Love is not selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.---Romans 12:10

Today's Dare: As well as not saying anything negative today, buy your spouse something that's says "I was thinking of you today."

This was a lot harder than I thought that it was going to be. I mean I am always getting Kal things that I think that he will like just because. There is really never a reason other than I was thinking about him. This dare happened to fall on a day that I was out running errands with some ladies from church. I thought to myself, "Perfect I will just get something at one of the stores when we go". Well it did not happen the way I planned. This concept should not surprise me anymore because when God is in charge nothing happens the way that you plan it or the way that you feel it should go. You would think that I would remember that. Every time we went to a new store, walking in, I thought about what I could get him. I know that he likes his magazines and I thought about getting one of those but really thinking about it I was unsure of the names and if he already had that issue. I didn't want to re buy one that he already had. So my thoughts on that were sort of out the window. Now what? The rest of my day happened.

A very good friend of mine...one of my best friends...is going through a bit of a rough time. Her ex-mother-in-law, Lana, recently found out that she has brain cancer. If that isn't hard enough, my friend had been diagnosed with brain cancer almost 11 years ago. She was granted a MIRACLE! There is NO doubt in any of our minds about that. She was getting all the information about what type of cancer Lana had. It turns out that she has an Astrocytoma. For those who I interested in that I found this info. Just the basics.

Astrocytomas are the most common glioma, and can occur in most parts of the brain (and occasionally in the spinal cord). Astrocytomas originate from cells called astrocytes and are most commonly found in the main part of the brain, the cerebrum. People can develop astrocytomas at any age, though they are more common in adults.

If that isn't hard enough to deal with my friend found out that she had what is called GMB. Which stands for: Glioblastoma multiforme. Here is a little info one that.

Glioblastoma multiforme (grade IV astrocytoma) is the most common and most malignant of the primary brain tumors. Glioblastoma multiforme usually spreads quickly to other parts of the brain. For this reason, these tumors are difficult to treat. It is not uncommon for them to recur after initial treatment.

She knew that was hard. Then she looked up the info online and talked to her mother who is a nurse and found out this info: The extremely infiltrative nature of this tumor makes complete surgical removal impossible. Even after surgery, chemo and radiation that the longest someone as lived after all that is 2.5 years.

Wow that is a lot to take in. Considering that just 10 years prior my friend was diagnosed with almost the exact same cancer. She didn't have GMB but it is still cancer.

You might be asking yourself what this has to do with the days dare...I am getting to that.

So Lana learned of her tumors on Sunday and Wednesday afternoon she had her surgery. I called my friend to let her know that I was here for her. I offered that after dinner I would be more than willing to take her back to the hospital so that she could see Lana after her surgery. My friend had surgery and she is the only person in that family who knows EXACTLY how Lana was feeling and what she was going through and how the road ahead would be. She took me up on my offer. I am happy to say that by the time we got to the hospital Lana was out of surgery, talking, alert and using all limbs. GOD IS AMAZING. He is the ultimate healer.

So where and I going with this....I knew that I was supposed to buy something for Kal but I felt that I was led to help my friend. It made me wonder if I do not care as I should for my husband. I think I do. I think that during out marriage Kal has come to realize that I am just helpful. If you ever need me, I am there. I tend to drop the things that I am doing to help. If you ask me for something I rarely say no. I have never put my own needs in front of someone else's. If there is ever a need that needs to be met...regardless of who it is...and I am able....I will fill it.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

At 9:30pm last night I was on my way home and stopped at the grocery store. I bought a bag of generic Doritos (thought he would like to try) and 2 liter of soda. I handed the bags to Kal when I got home just after 10pm and told him that I was thinking of him. He ate the chips and drank his drink and was very happy. Oh and I was thinking that we went to dinner and we were supposed to share fries and he ate the ALL and I didn't complain so is that not giving him something too....?

Love Dare Challenge Day 1 and 2

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Day 1

Love is patient

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.---Ephesians 4:2

The Dare for today: Resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.

Wow. The book said that today was going to be simple. I think NOT. I think that this dare has so much to do with lifestyle than anything. Kal is the first one and usually the only one to get all my anger. Anytime that I am mad or upset or hurt or anything for that matter I always turn to him. I always share with him. It doesn't matter if it is good or bad he always gets it. There are times that I feel like he doesn't listen to me. Or my least favorite thing that he says is "You shouldn't take things so personal" Well hello, this is happening to MY PERSON and I will take it personal! It is a little funny to me that this was this particular dare because just the other day we were talking about how we both used to have horrid potty mouths. We have both made an effort in the last 2 years to stop. There are times that things still slip out but for the most part I think that we have done very well. He said that lately he has been cussing more and more at work and that he isn't sure why. He just gets so frustrated. Boy do I know how he feels. I get like that. When the kids are misbehaving, when the guy in traffic cuts me off or if someone doesn't use a blinker...that is why they are there. When things do not go the way I want them to go. I think that some sailors would be embarrassed by the things that would come out of my mouth. (Just a figure of speech)

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

James 3:3-6

Think about that. Words will forever be remembered.

My reaction to this first dare is really used as more of a reminder to all of us that are doing this challenge to remember to think before you speak. If you want to say something hurtful or negative, think! Before you speak. ask "Is what I want to say true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I wonder how much I would be talking if I made an effort every time I spoke to ask my self those questions?

Day 1 went great though. I made a big effort to not say anything negative to Kal even though sometimes I wanted to but I didn't.

Day 2

Love is kind

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.---Ephesians 4:32

Day 2 dare is to not only hold your tongue but do one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

The first thing that comes to mind with this is all the things that I do that are kind for my husband. I don't punch him when I think that he needs it, I don't scream at him even when I think that is the only I think he is going to understand what I am saying, and I don't call him names even when I think that he deserves it. I think that those are all really kind things. Then as I sit here I realize that those are not kind things. Those are things that you should be doing anyway.. So what is it that I do that is kind? I am not sure. I do know that I am going to try harder to be kind to my husband. I love him and I want to have him in my life forever. I know that I do not have a heart that is hardened, but I also know that it is not soft and squishy either.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Reading this chapter has really opened my eyes to things that I need to change in my marriage and even in my life outside of my marriage. Be Kind...you can NOT rewind your words! (Cute huh?)

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3-4

I discovered today that I truly love my husband. I can not imagine my life or our children's lives without him here. I think that I take for granted who he is and everything that he does for us. Never forgetting love, binding it around my neck and writing it in my heart with help me remember gentleness, helpfulness, willingness and initiative.

Tonight I will be giving Kal a back rub as my unexpected gesture because it is something that I haven't done in a while and I know that he would love it.

Back from vacation and going to the dentist today!

We got back from our vacation on the 13th of August. Life has been crazy since then. We had a great time and really enjoyed visiting with all our family and are sad that the time ended. The kids all start school on the 8th of September. They are really getting excited for that. Gabe more than the other 2 I think. This is his 1st year and I can not wait to see how he deal with it all. We got most of their supplies. There is a few things that I still have to get. Binders is one. The only ones that I have found so far have been really cheap looking and I am not willing to waste money on them when in 2 months I would have to get new ones. I had some picked up and realized as I got to the checkout that one was already broken...no thank you! What else is new...

Sadie is 10

Lilly is 8

Those are the big things with them right now. Sadie is in the double digits!

Oh and we have all the money needed for our adoption! That is really exciting. Soon that whole mess will be behind us and we can all move on. I am waiting to hear back from the lawyer about the adoption papers and then Kal and I will have to go in and sign them! Well my few followers...so glad to have you! I need to finish getting everyone ready for the dentist. Yesterday I started the 40 day Love Challenge with some ladies on line with a parenting board so I am going to try again to find the book so that I can blog about that because I think that it is going to be wonderful. My marriage is not in trouble but who's marriage couldn't use a little boost???